It is nearing the end of 2012 and I am very excited about Christmas. However last Wednesday I had one of the most surreal days of my life. I went for an internal scan, not for any particular reason. I then forgot about it and got a message from the hospital saying I had to go to see them for an apointment. Now having had a lot appointments and operations at the hospital I was totally freaked out.
I went to the Hospital and it turned out there is something on my left ovary and they are taking it out. All signs are so far good, i.e, had a blood test and scan and nothing is showing up. However, they can't say for definite until they take it out. Life is weird sometimes it throws you in a different direction to the one you thought you were going in. On this weird day my Husband and I walked down to the Hospital canteen and there on the front page of the Swindon Advertiser was my face with the caption, "Good news at last!". The irony is strange, let's hope it is a good omen. My friend said to me "You are better than an episode of East Enders at the moment,".
Monday night I crashed my car. I have no idea how it happened. I was driving in a straight line with nothing in front of me and then all of a sudden I am driving into a black car and a silver van? I cannot explain it, did the other driver pull out into me, or did my tyre blow? It really shakes you up and bought out a flood of emotion. I am okay now, but there is definitely strange things a foot at the moment.
Merry Christmas everyone and I wish you all a fabulous 2013!
Wednesday, 5 December 2012
The big C, you won’t defeat me!
The gauntlet had been thrown.
You tried to shatter my home.
Positive attitude would drone.
Here I go into the unkown.
A journey into the stormy sea
Sailing solo just me
Hold tight and weather the storm
I hear you shout “Why me?” across the sea
But no answers are to be found, they have all drowned
In the beginning the mental chatter in my head would never cease.
This bloody Cancer what a beast
Silently you came
But defiantely I will reign
You can go back from where you came.
I know not why you came and life will never be the same
What a funny game
The answers come from within but you can’t find them at the beginning
Wife, Mother, Daughter, work colleague, and friend I am
Here I stand with all the strength in my hands
I command you to leave me be with my family.
I banish you from this land.
I am victorious and the remainder of my life will be glorious.
I will not live in fear because my life is dear
You have given me more strength inside
And I have now turned the tide
The experience was not all bad and none of this makes me sad
I won the battle and the sea is now calm
Time to steer in a different direction
You stripped me back to who I am
My inner core I now adore
No more turmoil to be had, inner peace is to be had.
Life is a journey you have to sail
Don’t let the big C derail
Good and bad shape who you are
Let your worries out along with the tide, ride the big waves, and bask in the sunshine.
It is now my time to shine.